Category: Blog Posts

I guess if I were to choose I would pick new adventures. When I go alone or with my adventure partner snuggles it is preferably doing something we have not done before. Don’t misunderstand though, I love a good bike park where I can rage down the same trail until I completely nail it. But is that real adventure?

Problem is when you live in an area for a little while you want to hit up your favorites. The issue is that we cant motivate to do them. Just doesn’t sound like a lot of fun. Doesn’t feel like a true adventure. So we eventually find something we haven’t done.

This is where group rides come into play. I do all the yearly standards but with a group. The dynamic of groups is such that every ride is new. New people and new conversations. Sharing what we have done and just doing this old favorite together.

We just love new adventures. The true adventure is something new. New experiences … alone or with others.

It’s my second.

And so in trying to catch up on my blogging, I am about to discuss my second Enduro. Oh, yea and trying to connect last June to now (late September) to prove that life is the same parallel. As in “not my first rodeo”.  Get it? Like not the first time I am trying something new. Not new being scared. The unknown … AGAIN.  The feeling of “Oh shit, what am I doing” … AGAIN.

So Enduro to me is enticing because it is the rock climbing of mountain biking. You study a route and then try to execute it. Combine that with group rides. It is NOT a physical fitness race. But then everyone wants to bomb the downhill. With bragging rights once everyone congeals at the bottom. A major change from a fitness competition which I am so used to. You mean the first one to finish today is not the winner? Wow!

Today, late September, I have to have issues with the way our society is set up. To trap us into thinking we are free and we have choices. Working for someone else and then giving all that money to another person. In return, we get tiny releases of emotional happiness. But then it fades and we go back to work to earn some more. Not freedom! In the end, we do have a choice and now we need to choose another path. We as in Snuggles and I. Time for change. You mean the one that earns the most money does not win? Wow!

My second enduro was even more awesome than the first. And I won, which is a bonus. But that isn’t what this post about. This is a new genre for me. With some familiar elements. Camping and hanging with like-minded folks. Actually, it reminded me of the good old days. What? I need an entirely different bike? Cool!

The first change this week is that I am pursuing being able to have a job where I am more flexible. Not just a butt in the seat job. One where I can work out of a transit hut in Yellowstone Park. And I am close to getting that. You mean I can work surround by nature? Cool!

This was my second race using new pads. Elbow, knee, and goggles. I have started to feel like a stormtrooper. After this race, I would go on to include a full face helmet and back protection. Maybe a sign that this is dangerous. Well isn’t life all about living?  Hell yea.

People think they have to work to afford the house, car, insurance, and all life’s safety gear. Excuse me … I can live without a house. What do you think we do on the weekends? I mean if we are escaping all of the life’s necessities or safety nets every weekend then doesn’t it seem like life would be more fun without all that ownership? Hell yea.

In my second enduro race, I wondered to myself, “where has this sport been all my life”. But then I always say that when I try something new. Does change bring about more adventure and is that why sometimes we find more pleasure?  Maybe.

My goal in the near future is to make a drastic change. Sell everything off except what we can haul in an Element. Toning down ownership. Basically, what we do every weekend now. Just going full-time with the vagabond idea. Big changes true, but won’t it just bring more adventure? Maybe.

So this new sport IS a big change. From a single all-out effort to an all-day adventure.  Instead of weekend camping to an all year camping adventure.

The transition was not complete by my second race. No, it took all summer. Ending with a race in Big Sky with new skills and equipment. I had to learn along the way with the help of friends and patience. The second race in Lolo was just the beginning and one thing was for sure. I became committed. And now committed to moving out of a societal “roof over our heads” to a nomad life. First things first … like selling everything off. It’s going to take a while. I THINK we are committed.

It’s not my first new adventure …

I wonder if anyone has ever seen something coming for a while but just procrastinated the time away until that something comes along. Like someone gives you evidence that the earth is warming and that eventually, we lose all our high altitude environments. Maybe that is a bad example because it is becoming true and really … we DID see it coming.

But why doesn’t anyone do anything about it?  I guess I don’t feel too bad now. I have to say that Mo and I have been discussing ideas. I just haven’t done anything about it. Since I have learned of the impending doom I have thought about it. About not working for anyone any longer. About needing to just do my passion and say fuck off to employers.

Since I have learned of this impending doom I have come to the conclusion that I do not want to work for anyone any longer. I want to just say piss off to employers and employment in general. Well, impending doom has happened. So now I must plan a way out or just become part of the problem. We got a couple scary ideas.

How about an adventure company out of Butte Montana that provides guiding and shuttles to some kick ass trails. Maybe the same idea but at Big Sky … or near here but not in Bozeman? Mostly myself doing all the hustle.

Or maybe Mo could be the main hustler. What about starting a media company?  Maybe I could provide the adventure. Travel around consult, live off of sponsors, and paid content?

Any other ideas?

The transition to the new bike was harder than I imagined. I would throw a leg over the most magical bike in the world and it would take me away to the most exotic places on wings of speed… Instead, I couldn’t keep it on the trail and I had no feedback from planet earth. And there was the insane weight. Brand new it was 32 pounds but I got it down to 27 with a 29er set of carbon cross country wheels. When the dust settled, however, I received a new mindset. I had to give up on lightweight race rigs. My skills changed from over the bar crashes to off the back crashes. Once I was keeping it straight and started to carve corners I experienced an identity crisis. I remember taking a rest break and just sitting on a log across from my bike.

I was alone so talking to it was no big deal. Look at you. So beefy and aggressive. I could just huck off a drop and you wouldn’t bat a pedal. You’re ready for a 24-hour race or a backcountry adventure. I wonder if you could fat bike in the winter. As my mind considered the possibilities of the bike now called Cruzie, it spoke out. It spoke in the language of consciousness and to be honest maybe I am a little off my rocker.

… “I am enduro” …

Heck, why not? Why not try an enduro race. I finally have a capable machine. It was settled, the Helenduro would be my curious inspection of enduro. At the very least I would do this one race and chalk it up to another adventure. And I always dreamed of doing downhill racing. Yes, secretly I really have.

I was so lost. I signed up and was uncomfortable from the get-go. I am used to lots of information. Like a schedule and a description of a course. Hell, no pun intended, I had to plan out the race … right? Come to find out it is very low-key and the kicker is that no details are posted until a day or so before the race. So mysterious.

And what is a “practice day”? You mean some of these races included camping out and practicing?  So it’s not just a day event? Holy shit … so cool. Well, I could just show up and race I suppose. But I wanted to see what I was up against.

I was up against a test of skills for sure and when I showed up ULTRA EARLY on Sunday I was a bit nervous. I didn’t know the program and really this was my first official and real bike ride on the new machine.

“OK good luck everyone … go”, the race director said from inside The Garage. I thought to myself, OK, now what? Where is the course? I mean I knew the course but it was a long way away.  Off to the bike shuttle. Then I followed what seemed to be a group ride to the top of the first stage. And then just if there were any competitive juices left it was drained away by sitting around and chatting for like seemed to be an hour until the start marshall got to the scene.

After about 3 hours I was having the time of my life. This was literally a huge adventure. Endurance sprinkled with intense speeds going down through the trees like an x-wing fighter through the death star.

The honeymoon was over on the last stage where I encountered the roughest terrain yet. I was out of control and it was intensely scary. If anything would go wrong I could be paralyzed for life. This was not snuggles(Mo) approved! I barely was able to hang on and finish out the day. And, I might add, with the biggest grin I have had in a while.

Enduro … shit … a big group adventure ride. Hanging out with new friends and challenging myself to terrain I have never had the bike to ride before. Damn this was cool! I signed up for the Lolo Enduro as soon as I  got home.

OK, so there is only so much time every day … or in life. Much like our attempt back in April when we attempted to get to Window Rock Cabin. There is stuff I used to do all the time without much difficulty. Like blog almost every day. Or just ride our bikes up to Window rock and stay the night. Every day I look forward to blogging and think about what I want to express. Seems doable. So did the cabin.

But I forget about my rehab exercises and all the stuff I need to do to make a comeback as an old dude. And I forget about my sudden obsession with Enduro. In April I forgot … well … it was still April.

Eventually, we turned around and called it all off. And eventually every day I call off the blog post.

It has been that long since my last post. I guess things got busy. And I had to repair myself. It’s been 3 months … maybe more.

After the long journey into why I feel dizzy I am close to a verdict.  My brain is healthy and I even have repaired the un-repairable … my inner ear. Perfectly fine now. My vestibular is spectacular. No evidence of concussions although I know we cant really tell unless we do a biopsy. Not recommended because you have to be dead.

I have been doing exercises to fix the back injuries sustained last fall. That is going well. I can sit in a car a long time and riding a bike is no problem. All good. So why the dizzies and headaches?

All tests point to migraines … but why? We have found that in the past I fractured my neck. And that I had no medical care so it just healed itself. I can avoid the migraine triggers until I fix my neck. Found the bow bow. So until we get my neck repaired naturally with stretch, exercise, and strengthening I will avoid cheese, processed meat, wine, beer, gluten, and nuts. Getting closer!

Maybe it is all the snow and the inability to do a REAL bike ride. You know … on the dirt. Right? But then again I love fat biking. So I am not blaming snow and cold. But this week I have had two metal breakdowns. I am fed up with something.

So I always get the lightest equipment that will stand up to my punishment. Why, because I am stuck in the cross country strength to weight ratio rut. No more! I have spent more money on light-weight parts failures then I have on healthcare. And to top it off this shit is more expensive. I have wasted most of my life with this concept. I call total bullshit on that paradigm. Light crap ends in mental breakdowns.

Everyone is sick of snow right now, but I know some of my best times have been peddling along with a heavy fat bike into fresh powder adventures. It’s not the snow. It is the short summer and the failed precious days due to light bike part failures. So that is it. I am sick of light part failures. Why would someone pay a hundred dollars for the so called best tires and then end up walking when they fail. And slog home in the wet snow because they fail and fail again? I am setting a brand new set of … 500 gram … Schwalbe tires on the curb tonight. HashTag rip-off! I am turning my back on weight weenie crap and the people that still believe in it. I want to reform. I will start by ordering a set of heavy, more economical, durable, and fun … 900 gram … options.

Physical therapy has it’s benefits.  Mostly benefits, maybe a couple downfalls. Like not having time to relax or express oneself in a blog. But benefits abound. For me getting stronger has sparked an exploratory flame where I now want to climb mountains and ride my bike off of them. Right now, while I can, I want to fly. Why hold back because I don’t have the skill or am scared to get hurt. Shit … I’m doing it. Because someday I might have more hurdles. But for now my number one goal is to stand and reach for the sky. Or PT as they call it.

Since learning more about the dizzies I have made some modifications, you know, just in case one of the many possible causes is brought on by food. Like processed meats for their histamine. Or cheese and wine for their tannins. Or alcohol for their … well … for being a poison. Cut these out and knock on wood, I have felt pretty solid most of the time. Who am I kidding? If history repeats itself I will wake up with the dizzies one day.

But I am ready, in fact excited. Because when it does I can go into a specialist and they can get some more clues. Number two goal I wait for clues and stay away from the yummies.

Neurology tests will narrow it down while I wait for symptoms to resurface. So thirdly I do tests. Other than those I do enduro. If I crash into a tree and end up on the ground then it was on my own terms. Not some disconnection in the head or past injury. Go for it while I can. And in the end, when it is all over, I will have done it all. Well at least as much as I could.

So I say to you go all out and make sure if you crash it is truly spectacular. And do it well so that you don’t have to deal with the injuries due to a half assed attempt.

Wow, it is so hard to get it all in. And some things just fall off the todo list. Like blogging.

Oh no! Adventure has not been affected. Specially fat biking into cabins. One must adventure. But now I have a couple things added to my daily routine. This includes specialist visits and the resulting rehab sessions. Right now I do a morning session and a evening session to try and fix my back. Then add to that the investigations into the dizzy.

It all adds up leaving me with no time to express. Just fat bike to cabins. And rebuild. Plus dream. And plan. Things like doing a enduro race.

No, not endurance mountain biking. Or endurance-go-to-cabins-on-my-fatbike stuff. Just the opposite. You know … because it is the best way to train the brain for balance. Trees whizzing by and mock 10 and big rocks to jump off of to get that open space feel.  How does Mo feel about this? Don’t know … she just showed up on her fatty.

I need to blog. Maybe because it helps me sort things out. Recently I have been so busy … I could pick from numerous excuses. But who am I apologizing to?  Really no one. Well maybe there are people reading this. I sure don’t want to disconnect the communication. I may need it later. Speaking of disconnections.

Ok so going from fire tower to valley floor in a blinding snow storm could be considered dramatic. And I am pretty sure I can come up with some kind of weird story how we got out with a broken arm, then by crawling along with one good one. Naw … oh gosh, that would be lying. And that is miss communicating true data?  Speaking of which.

I think the story of how miraculous it is to pull off adventures without balance is how I am going with this story. So lets review balance. You need two main things. A sensor which in my case is called a “Inner Ear”. With fluid in it to tell us where we are oriented in space. A computer or brain that translates the signals into a sense of balance. We need balance right? Without it you could not walk in complete darkness.

And here is the drama part. What if early on a sensor gets damaged. From an adult slapping you upside the head as a child. Or a misguided earache treatment gone awry. Maybe it is related to one of the many concussions. Maybe it is a college roommate that attacks you with his fists and smashes in your face. Whatever … sometimes a damaged sensor can haunt you later on.

Then imagine the connection between the two disconnecting.  We all know that a bad sensor would give you vertigo right? But what if the sensor was good and you still get vertigo? So imagine getting down from a Fire Tower with a connection between the sensors and the brain going out. Like a transistor radio when you move the antenna to the wrong position.

The human system is so freaking great that it has backup systems. So to ride a bike out of a backcountry situation with the ear-brain connection flinching out seems horrific. Not so. How is it done?

The other sensors. Like a blind person who can hear a pin drop a hundred feet away. Other sensors. In this case the eyes. The eyes provide the brain with data that the brain turns into balance and coordination.  Well … as long as the brain has energy because let’s face it, this takes huge computing power. That is how I got out. On this alternative system.

As with everything this is not optimal and comes at a cost. Yea, vertigo at times when the inner ear finally checks in and data doesn’t match up with the visual data. Or when your running smoothly on proper inner ear data and then it starts to go in and out.  Huge cost. Maybe a barf or two 🙂

There are others like extreme exhaustion. With a overworked brain I tend to pass out on the couch in the afternoon. So exhausted all the time. And forget going into anyplace with un-natural lighting … within an hour I am so brain dead I can’t figure out why I went to that store in the first place.

In the coming months I will be traveling around getting tests done. To figure out the path to getting my sensors hooked back up. That way getting home safely from an adventure will not be so mirecalous.

For now blogging might be a way to practice sensory articulation.  Maybe getting this data to you, the reader, even if it is myself, will help me balance.

Saturday we traveled to Hamilton. Once there we had some time to kill so we walked around downtown and ate at Bitterroot Brewing. The latter was a big mistake because soon my gut was aching and we had to go to our room so that I could lay down. Maybe it was all the stress of the weekend. Soon the person responsible for our new acquisition arrived and I jumped up to greet him.

As we waited for the delivery we chit chatted and got caught up on the happenings around the Root. Around 10pm it was time and everyone went into action. We all scurried to the delivery barn.

As the doc was telling us a story I got the first glimpse of the new baby. There it was … looked so tiny.There were minor complications but the doc fixed it up and finally was in my arms. Delivery time was officially at 10:30pm with a weight of around 33 pounds. Heavy little brute! We chatted about all the things we needed to do to keep our new edition healthy and hopefully around for a while. I was given some toys and supplies and we left with our new bundle of joy.

We stayed up late just looking at the newbie. So may intricate parts. So cute. Still though we had no name for it. We don’t even know the gender although we do know it was definitely trans-platform. 27 plus but sometimes a 29er. But we are cool with that.

I was up all night, once to clean minor leakage in the undercarriage. I was exhausted and got spotty sleep. Morning came and after coffee we went out for it’s first ride. It was all a blur. Our new edition was well behaved and did around 20 miles on it’s first outing.

We checked in one more time with the doc and took our little Cruz home. All the while Mo was driving I was in the back tickling and holding the new edition.

The family is now at home and everyone is getting to know each other. We don’t have the space but we are making do. Ruby is sharing her room for now.

Let the new adventures begin …o/o

It has been a long time since I went to a race by myself. But Mo was so sick she couldn’t get out of bed. And I did what every caring partner would do. I considered not going. And to be honest, I was not feeling well just yet anyway.

But then I got a sign. Upon going outside I was greeted by a fox on the porch. It did not run away immediately. It just looked into my eyes. I swear I heard a whisper … “do it … go to the race”.

So I did.

The race itself I feel good about. I was relaxed and managed my energy stores very well. I gave it my all and nothing more. Instead of racing to the front I just stayed my pace. I never buried myself and reminded my self that I was so lucky to even be able to be out there. Racing in extreme beauty. I settled into 3rd and stayed there. I did not even see anyone else, except for someone who passed … but then flatted. I gave him my pump and continued. Never seen him again! Since I turned 50 I have not had a good race. I am going to chalk this one up to that. A good race.

I did not get to stick around much as I was concerned about Mo. I missed out on catching up with friends. Like a fox I raced back to the cabin.

We were sick. But when you already have the forest service cabin rented it can somehow inspire you to go anyway. Even for a couple of sick people. Saying, “we can probably just drive it it anyway”. The fatbikepack into Hells Canyon Guard Station was pretty taxing and probably not the best decision we have ever made.

When Mo passed out in front of the wood stove I realized that maybe this was not such a good idea. I was up all night making tea and keeping things warm. Mo wheezed and coughed.  As the sun cracked the ridge the coughing stopped for 5 minutes. I slipped outside to check out the surroundings. Then a storm hit.

By the end of the storm Mo was up and messing about. I went outside to grab some wood and to also discover that we got a fresh 4-6 inches. There is something about fresh snow. It’s inspiring some how.

Even for a couple sick people and inspiring enough to do an adventure ride. Say, “just down the road a bit to see how the conditions pan out”. Turns out conditions were perfect and we went a lot further then anticipated. Mo played it safe and went back early while I stayed out.

I rode to the top of a ridge that looked out over the valley where we came from the night before. I wondered if Mo made it back to the cabin. I figured I better check and rode back. She was nestled in drinking tea and doing cross word puzzles.  And then the sun came out.

There is something about the sun shine. It’s inspiring some how. Even for a couple sick people and inspiring enough to do an adventure hike. Say, “just down the road a bit to get some fresh air”.

But the little adventures started to take their toll and we found ourselves back at the cabin to take naps and try to recover. The sun was setting and another storm rolling in. There is something about the darkness during a storm. It’s inspiring some how. Even for a sick guy and inspiring enough to do an adventure ride. Say, “just up the road a bit to test the way out tomorrow”.

And then I did it again. Got lost in the adventure. Riding by headlamp, pressed for time because a storm was near. Plus I was halfway around a big theoretical loop. Mo was monitoring me via radio from the cabin. But then I rode out of radio range. Now alone should I go for the loop or turn around? I went for the loop.

There is something about going for it without anyone knowing where you are headed. It’s inspiring some how. Even for a sick guy and inspiring enough to finish an adventure loop. Say, “I know this loops around somehow”.

We tried to get farther but the rear differential went out and we had no traction. We could get more stuck then we were so we got turned around and found a good place to park. It would have to be bike-packing from here. Gosh, I assumed we would get farther.

Biking was easy for a while. But then the road started to turn wet, then snowy. Eventually it was obvious why we brought fat bikes. We reached the cabin later that night. The snow was just soft enough to encourage walking the bike. Darn,  it was a lot harder then we expected.

We should know better, right? Never assume that it will be easy. Mo slumped in front of the newly built fire and I set about to get us some grub. Wow, I expected her to feel better.

As we approach spring we should not have any assumptions. And we all know this. Just when you think that there is more light during the day. Or the snow seems to be melting. In Montana there is no such thing as spring. There are days that seem like spring but then the next 10 below and snowing. No, usually it just becomes summer one day and it skips spring. Just like that, sometime in July … it is summer.

Home weekend. Why not go out and ride the Bear Canyon trails on our fat bikes. I remember two years ago before it was legal I declared this venue my favorite. Then it became illegal. Then legal again. We could of actually rode it last year but the bitter taste had not left yet.

When we arrived it looked as though we still were unwelcome. The signs are so confusing. First off we have snowmobile trail permits. The signs declared that there were no snowmobiles allowed. Ouch, I could of swore that is what we used to ride on. Plus it said no wheeled vehicles. Which is a keyword for me and I turned around and started to run away. You know, before the feds showed up.

Suddenly we hear a skier yell, “you can ride here … look”, pointing at yet another sign. Mo went back and I just kept my distance. I have been burned before.

“According to this … bicycles allowed July to March”,  she yelled back. I approached cautiously.  Wow … cool. And just like that we were in.

And it is the best fat biking around these parts.

I think last year we tried it too. And I remember that we even had trouble figuring out how to connect into our bindings at the time. So this year I practice it over and over in my head.  So I was ready this time. And we did it, two days of skiing.

No, nothing major of course. After all a friend was just swept away and perished. Nothing against the rad slider groups out there but we prefer gentle slopes. Ones where the only danger is to get run over by a deer. Maybe later we would get better and take more chances. But for now … super safe.

The hill out the back of the cabin turned out to be the perfect one for us non sliders. So gentle that it would take a 30 mph gust to move the snow. Super stable and super safe.  Plus, to climb without skins are so cool. What the hell is the use of skiing if you have to take skins off and  put them back on for every undulation. It’s like me changing tires on my bike as I am out mountain biking. Just silly.

So yea. Call us ignorant beginners. But … it’s been a while!