Dead Space 5

I went to the library with my partner and while she was printing out shipping labels I wondered around. Why not check out some corners of the building that I haven’t seen? I walked to the end and looked out the window. Nothing but cold winter there, yuk. There were sloths staring at their computers. It was quiet down here. I went back and selected a random aisle. I went down it. It seems to just keep going. I noticed that the books were getting bigger and bigger … until they were the size of doors. What? I slid one out, it was on rollers and walked into it.


First I had to get over my shock and confusion. But today I was in a special mood and was willing to go with just about anything. I stood in the snow somewhere by the interstate. I could hear the cars, that is why I know. Wait, this was this morning. Not dressed for this I stepped back. There I was back in my isle. I stepped into the book across the way. It said “This morning”.

Overcast with color

Again … winter. Again, I was here this morning. Riding my fat bike. I stepped back. I looked up and down the aisle. It was like looking at a mirror in a dressing room. Recursion made it look like infinity. But this really did go on seemly forever. I walked forward to a book that read JUNKIE, six years ago.

“I am jonesing man, I gotta have some stuff, I just can’t stand it”, I hear coming from what seems to be myself. I step back as I try to remember ever being addicted. Was I talking about adventure? Let’s try another book. I walk down the aisle further to COUCH CRASHING, seven years ago.

Bike Path

I was suddenly aware that I was riding my bike. It was cold and dark. And I was with my friend Jill. We stopped to part ways. It seems we were headed to our respective homes to crash. I looked at my bike computer and realized it was the middle of the night. Wow, I was a total freak. I took a step back and rejoined my present self in the library. I took a couple of steps and found the third book. Ten years ago, RESTED NOW SOUTH TO HAMILTON.

I was with my friends and we are preparing to go backcountry skiing. What? Did I really do this?  Why am I a Scrooge now? Maybe to be with friends I did some unscrupulous things?  I should do this again. I stepped back. I was in no way ready to go skiing. I went down the aisle more to find my fourth book. WEEPING WOMAN, twelve years ago.

I had been up late and was tired. Sitting in my living room I was posting photos and reminiscing about adventures past and future. I sure wanted to impress people. Embarrassed I stepped back into the present. Wandering down the aisle even further I went back sixteen years. I stepped through to DROPPING OUT OF SCHOOL.

The vibe was totally messed up. I felt tired and like I was being smothered. I was working at Sikorsky in Connecticut and trying to further my education. But I would not go any further. I was dropping out. And thus started the dreadful decline to where I just came from.

Wait a minute. My life now is awesome. I have progressed. I wanted to go back. I stepped, no jumped back.

“You ready to go”, a voice behind me said.

“Yea, totally … 5 books is enough”, as I turned around.


2 thoughts on “Dead Space 5

  1. Enjoyed this post. I too often take travels into the past, and recently have been writing about 2010-2011, and thinking often about life in Montana. I am glad you are happy in the present. 🙂

  2. You know what would be even more awesome for the present? 🙂 well … I think you do know 😉 Can’t wait for the vagabond life if that ever comes to fruition.

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