I don’t know what it is. When an endurance junkie like me takes a couple days recovery suddenly life just falls apart.  I am at peace when my schedule is overbooked and I am working out during every sliver of time. But the last couple days have been light and I find myself at home starring at the walls. I turn on “Craig Fergusson” and can’t follow the punch lines. I flip open my laptop and research the latest sports nutrition.


Later on, I find myself in the Bozeman CoOp looking a canister of goat protein. I lean forward and the price tag comes into view. I retreat discussed … $65.00. “Holy Shit”, I internally yell. I whirl around, grab a canister of Spry gum and head to the checkout line.

Back at home I hang my laundry and plop back down on the couch.  I stare at the wall. Flipping on the TV again it is repulsive so I flip it back off and start Pandora on my laptop.  The tunes flood into my apartment and I start wiggling my foot. What should I do?  The music is making my dream of working out and I go to the kitchen to grab a local map. I start pouring over the ridgelines and high points planning tomorrow’s work out.

I can’t stand the music any longer. I turn it off and the urge to go ride starts to subside … a little. I can’t sit down any longer and start pacing around the apartment looking for things to do. I start to lose it and I grab the foam roller starting to do some core routines.

“I am jonesing man”, I say to an imaginary adventure dealer. “I gotta have some stuff”. “I just can’t stand it”.

I have a list of things to do, pay some bills maybe, fix some shoes. But I keep on procrastinating. I have plenty to do but lack the motivation to do them. Didn’t I want extra time to get caught up?  This is the time to get caught up. “Argh”, I smack my head in frustration.

Tomorrow I will get back to the workout grind. Some intense intervals running up the Bridger Range.  And I will have limited time and be as busy as ever; getting ready to travel to Missoula.  And through it all everything will get done tomorrow.  I will work 8 hours, pack the car, do two workouts, and tune up my bikes.  All in one day. Something I cant do now …. because I don’t have my stuff.

“I gotta have some stuff”. “I just can’t stand it”.

One thought on “Junkie

Your Thoughts

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s