I rounded the corner to the Middle Cottonwood access road. My intervals were over and I had over an hour before the sun would set. I figured it was a great time to explore the snow covered back roads in the Bridger Foothills. As I spun along slowly aboard my Mukluk I started to think back on valentines days in the past. Alone on a remote road in sub freezing temperatures I thought back to two distinctive Valentines Days in my past.
My mind drifted off to grade school. Our school made a big hub bub over a holiday created by some greeting card company. We had a full day of creating our mailbox like containers that we would hang off our desk. Then on Valentines day we had a party. I am sure my mother hated this day as well because it was up to us kids to bring goodies for the swarray. So this day became one big popularity and social class show and tell. If your cards were inadequate or your goodies sub par your popularity suffered. I felt a pain of disapproval on this day, it was not my favorite time. Some kids had full blown cards and brought fancy treats made by their classically trained mothers. Then my popularity was painfully obvious as the “cool” kids had their boxes crammed full. The beginnings of sucking ass, good for them, I think back now. I cant believe I was so stupid as to give out cards to everyone. I know they were the cheapest my mom could find but at least everyone was thought of. Me … I got like maybe 6 or 7 cards out of a class of 50. No one wants to be seen giving a card to a red head that wets thier pants and gets their ass kicked after school. At least I could find comfort in the fact that I did get attention when I was getting beat up.
I had to shake my head to get those awkward memories out of my head. I turned another corner to head over to a trailhead called Trumans Gulch when I noticed the sun was setting over the Madison Range to the West. It was the sheer beauty that cleared my mind and a grin popped back onto my face. I couldn’t feel my face due to the cold wind by I could tell it was there. Then I thought back to the time I got engaged on Valentines Day.
Yes it is true at one time I finally became popular with one person. After one failed marriage previous I was keen to not making another mistake. But then the second relationship I ever had (now only on 3 … and would like to keep it that way) came my way and I thought she was the one. So as I leaned over a table top pac man game I proposed that in one year we get married. She agreed. That plan fell through and in a years time I was driving across the country to escape another cobbacle. Now my heart was beat up and I never stopped running. I figured if I kept on the move then no one could catch me.
Now as I was riding in the shadow of the mountains the sun was definitely going to bed. AND it was cold. I couldn’t feel my fingers and decided enough is enough so headed home. I rode into the most beautiful sunset. Bozeman seems to be the place these things come along often. I started to think that my days of running are over. I know, I said that back in Missoula. But someone has caught me and I don’t think I’ll go any further. I am not in Bozeman to be popular, which 60% of the community are by the way. Also I am not here for a relationship … kind of obvious since the one I care for doesn’t even live here.
No, what I am really here for is right in front of me. In the right place at the right speed. On another road new to me.