The forecasts, they dangle promises of sunlight like a mirage in this frozen desert of fog. They speak of hours where the sun supposedly reigns, yet it’s but a ghost behind a veil that refuses to lift from Missoula’s shoulders. I ventured out, not with hope, but out of sheer defiance against the oppressive greyscale that clings to every building, every street, every breath.
For a fleeting moment, a mere two hours, the sun pierced through the heavy cloak, a cruel tease of warmth and cheer. I rode out into this brief interlude, my bike and I cutting through the cold silence. Each pedal stroke was a rebellion, a stark contrast to the stillness, a blackened silhouette against the stark white of snow that seemed too pure for this world, too bright for this town smothered in shadows.
I chase the sun, not for the thrill, but in a desperate attempt to feel something other than the numbness that comes with the endless grey. The inversion, a word too scientific, too sterile, for the smothering thief that it is, steals more than light; it robs us of color, of life, of the very reasons I thought I moved here for.
The city, dubbed #missoulaisashithole not out of malice but a raw, unfiltered cry from the souls yearning to be heard, to be seen, to be remembered by the sun. Each day, the fog feels like a heavy chain, a reminder of the dreams and aspirations that seem just as hidden and unreachable as the mountain tops that loom somewhere above.
And in this relentless grey, where the sun is but a memory, I ponder the cruel irony of nature’s imprisonment. We are left longing, always longing, for a break in the clouds, for a respite from the relentless gloom. Yet the sun, like hope, remains just out of touch—so close, yet eternally distant in this winter’s unforgiving grip.
So, we endure. We endure because that is what we do. We ride not just against the cold, but against the creeping despair that threatens to settle in our bones. We ride because to stop would be to surrender to the darkness that awaits not just outside, but within the recesses of our forsaken spirits.
On this day in history:
2018: Goose Creek Gander (Read more) – Winter outing is the goal. Getting out of the house and away from the media and just news in general. Isn’t everything so overwhelming? I can remember a time when all I did was bike and didn’t even know who was the president. Clueless. And maybe much better off.
2017: Light Test (Read more) – What better way to test a new headlamp then to arrive at the trail-head late and ski through the night. My partner using her Petzel and I with the new Alpkit. Mine supposedly has 600 lumens and hers 200. “I thought the cabin was just at the top … ‘beep’”, I finally blurted out. Not that I…
2016: Contrasts (Read more) – The big Christmas vacation idea was to escape the cold, go south, and find warm summer like weather. It took us two days of travel to get far enough south for it to warm above 32 degrees. It was a blinding Blizzard one moment and then it was bear ground the next. So that is…
2011: The lie (Read more) – “I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t eat honey for one year”, said Winnie the Pooh. Christopher Robin just sat there quietly looking concerned for his friend. You see humans don’t understand bears. And Winnie didn’t want to disappoint his friend. Christopher just tucked the bottle of honey he brought for his friend…
2008: Paul Has Arrived (Read more) – No pics of my best friend Paul’s grand entrance from NY – I was exhausted, and he arrived at 11 PM. Spent the day getting Marcy ready, Paul’s her fav. She was all about cuddles. Now, I’m at work, itching to start my vacation. Honestly, I think I just came in for the bike ride.
2007: Snowless in Missoula (Read more) – I am about to start breakfast and get a start on this day. I am not looking forward to it. I have never looked forward to this one. I remember being excited to go into work at MARS Stout and at times they had to kick me out at the end of the day. What…
2006: Friends and Family Online Tonight (Read more) – My computer’s still a bit wonky, but I’m fixing it tonight. Also, I’m excited to join our weekly eMeeting, “Friends and Family On-line” again. I’m getting my photography software back up, so watch out for new photos soon!
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