Last week I nearly had 1 or 2 mental breakdowns due to winter weather. The last one resulted in me tossing 200 bucks into the garbage and hiding in the shower for three hours. They found me weeping in the bottom of the shower that had turned cold.

Some people think that I love winter. I love riding my fat bike; well, yea. Following any of my social media outlets certainly can confirm it. But if you really know me you will find out that it is not really that simple. I find winter beautiful. I love taking photos of colorless landscapes. The sheer beauty of it all. And I love a good snowfall making everything pristine and flocked. Winter can really make the mountains look more majestic then in the summer months. I mean, really, it is really freaking gorgeous in the winter in the mountains.

Let’s be certain, I dont like the cold. I really like surviving the challenge of it. To survive a bike ride when it is negative 40 is really challenging. But I like the challenge and not the thing that I am up against. It’s like saying that you love sitting around a bunch of hungry grizzly bears. I mean it is a challenge to stay alive but certainly not very relaxing. Winter can be relaxing with its long nights and who dosen’t love sleeping? But without modern living it would be purely hell.

And there lies the crux of my situation. I don’t love winter. I only endure it. It takes a lot of clothing and being sheltered. What I do love is being outside. Naturally. Just laying around in the sun and going on rides without suiting up like you are going to the moon. Summer is really living. It is fun. It is what I like. I don’t like winter. As much as it looks like I do … I don’t.

Winter is like a life enduro where you survive the transfer just to enjoy the downhill. When will I get to ride my real bike? When?