The weird thing about waiting rooms is the TV. The second hour in the waiting room I was glued to it. Trying to read the captions to try and figure what the figures on the screen were saying. To make things real hard is that the volume was up a little so I could hear sound. But the sound was out of sync with the text … real confusing. In the end I didn’t actually get what was happening but it was something to star at. My mind was on someone in the operating room so I don’t think I could of really been “into” what was going on anyway. My mind was out biking in a desolate desert, wondering aimessly through the sand. Approaching hour three I started to do calculations.
We arrived at 6:30 and it is now 9:30. The first hour we sat and waited for some iv drugs to take hold. There was some moments that were tough to handle. There is a risk going into surgery and we were realizing it as one of us in a gown and the other sitting to the side. I was the onlooker and felt helpless and I have to say I don’t like seeing someone I care about getting hooked up to be “jacked out” of consciousness. I mean as humans it is all we have right? It is what makes us alive. My mind was drifting … I needed to focus. I am still in a desert biking aimlessly along. Damn TV was so easy to look at but I needed to look like I was watching it. Because I was dreaming of being lost in a ever ending region of desolation. I looked at the clock 10:30.
Ok re calculating. Surgery started at 8 … so she has been under for like 2.5 hours. I am worried. All the thoughts of a bad anesthesiologist kept creeping in my head. She is so small … what if? The stress was unbearable so I stood up and walked over to the window. A long walk as I imagined getting off my bike now and feling the hot sand benieth my feet. Walking the bike now to an endless horizon.
In the parking lot a car stood out. A golden Focus wagon with a Salsa Mukluk on the roof. It looked way out of place as did the fat tire bike on top. Usually I would think how cool it looked followed by a urge to go ride the thing. But instead I nervously went back to the couch and started glaring at the TV again. I comfortably sipped back into my dream stare. Back on my bike again and pushing towards the horizone … somewhere in the middle of nowhere. It was snow 11:30 and approaching noon.
A nurse came into view and walked past me. I made eye contact to see if I could garner any information. She walked past me and into the arms of another. This must be her boyfriend. I sure wished I could hold my girlfriend. I then overheard her mention that one ACL surgery down and one to go. She sighed and I tried to soak in all the nuances of her expression to try and figure out what had happened in the operating room. I couldn’t bare it any longer and full panic started to set in. I slipped back into my stare at the TV and again was transported to my desert … and my bike. My phone rang. It was the surgeon.
“She did very well and it all went ok, we were able to use a piece of her hamstring successfully. We now just have to wait for her to wake up. I’ll call you tonight”.
“Thanks doctor, thanks for everything”.