Detaching

Here I sit at the public library listening to the Dark Tower audio CD and just now getting back to my job search routine. I am tired. Probably because I woke up at 5 a.m. after staying up real late. This time of year does something to my sleep patterns. I think it has something to do with years of doing that daylight savings time rip off.

With this lack of sleep I thought about something this morning. I have this friend that I would like to gripe to and get some validation and comfort. But I cant, instead I get a synopsis of what I should do to fix my problem and also what they would do supported by some heavy manipulation.

Sometimes I do things others don't like or approve of. They react. I react. Before long, we are all reacting to each other, and the problem escalates. I think they should detach.

They are hooked into a reaction of anger, guilt, or shame. When they get hooked into a power play — an attempt to control or force others to do something they don't want to. When the way they are reacting is not helping me solve the problem. The way they are reacting is hurting me.

Often, it is time to detach when detatchment is understanding that reacting and controlling does not help. The next step … I think, is getting peaceful — getting centered and restoring their balance.

Take a walk. Leave the room. Go to a meeting. Log off. Call another friend (hopefully they don't have the same problem). From that place of peace and centering will emerge an answer, a solution.

For me I will hope that others feel that they can surrender and trust that the answer is near.

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