Category: Blog Posts

Reporting from the Liquid Planet here in dark (morning) downtown Missoula. The ride in town this morning was dangerous due to the road construction. I had to ride the sidewalk and a couple frost heaves may have rendered me with two flat tires when I go back to my bike when I am done here. I have ordered mocha instead of a coffee and I am feeling guilty. Enough is enough and I have decided to make a creed.

When I was hired at Sikorsky Aircraft, I thought I would regain financial independence and payoff all depts. That did not happen and the task seemed un-surmountable. I did pay off some debts but overall I ended up digging a deeper hole. I now have the car payment monkey on my back. ($600.00 a month that could go to paying off Child Support or School Loans!)

I have to change and have put in place an idea. I need to work out my mess. It seems impossible! I do not even want to face it; it feels so overwhelming and hopeless. Nevertheless, I will. Each day I must do the best I can do to be responsible for myself.

It is difficult given that I do not even have a job now. I owe over $40,000.00, and my ability to produce is at a standstill right now. I am grieving; my self-esteem is at a low; my energy is low. I do not know if I can ever untangle this nightmare. Nevertheless, it will happen. Slowly, gradually, with the help of a higher power, manageability will creep in and replace chaos.

I will begin by not spending more than I earn (in this case unemployment). I will pay back creditors, a little at a time. I am going to let go of what I cannot do, and focus on what I can do.

Someday I will be dept free. I cannot even emagine that it is possible. I want to live comfortable, with money in the bank … or Pay Pal (I have earned .50 this month on dividends). In the Sikorsky years, I did restore my credit and I will not let that go.

I want to gain a financial sanity and security. One day at a time I can restore – mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and financially . It may get worse before it gets better – because I am going to face reality instead of dodging it. However, once I make the decision and by writing this, I hope I am, I am on my way.

Reporting from the city library on a sunny evening I have some good news. No, I did not get a job. I will be launching my new site soon and you all can now get a sneak peak. Well …. If your reading this than you have peaked. I plan to launch the new site next Tuesday so stay tuned.

I am just about out of here to take Marcy hiking. Tonight we have to gather food at the store because I missed yesterdays grocery night due to coding the new site. I got a response today and it was another “we will be hiring sometime next year” email. Oh well I know there is something on the horizon.

Chillin’ in Missoula at Liquid Planet, and guess what? The sun’s decided to join the party, throwing glimmers off those snow-tipped mountains. Meanwhile, I’m here trying to focus, but there’s this chatter behind me that’s straight outta ‘Real World.’ Been diving deep into my website game lately, but today, it’s time to shift gears and hunt for a job.

Hit up some spots downtown – Intertech and Lupine Logic. So far, only Kevin Burns from Datamize LLC got back to me. Says they’re looking to hire, but not till the tail end of the first quarter in 2005. They’re digging my website, though, seeing some potential in me.

My buddy Alden’s pushing for me to look into jobs in Helena or Bozeman. But, honestly? Not feeling it. Those places smack a bit too “Yuppyish” for my taste. Missoula’s where my heart’s at.

Got plans with Marcy tonight to hike up the valley between those Sentinel Mountains. Plus, it’s Movie Night – “Cheap Seats” edition. Still on the fence about what to watch, or if I can even peel myself away from tweaking my website. But man, I gotta lock down a job around here.

Whew, another job search day. Getting a late start today not because but contributing to is the run-in I had with an ATM today. I entered my information and it processed everything except it forgot to give me my ten bucks. I had to go into the bank and make sure that I didn't get debited the amount without receiving my money.

Yesterday was un-productive. I visited some technology companies on the web after a search I did online. I tried to contact Pyron Technologies and some other places. The problem is that I don't have a phone here so I try to email them. When I am at home I don't have the net to do research. Of course I will start saving info and calling when I get home. Then there is the problem of me getting home late and not being able to reach them because its past closing time. Ill just have to go home sooner.

Last nights mountain bike ride with the Thursday Night Group was the last of the season and next week we will have a party. After that we are going to start night riding and after that hopefully snow shoeing and skiing.

Today I must get a hold of Snap Apps, Pyron Technologies, and Edu-cate(I forgot how this is spelled). I must go into these places I think and beg for employment.

Hello from the Liquid Planet where the sun was out this morning as I biked into down town to resume my job search. Yesterday went well but not as well as I would of wanted it to. I stopped in to see a friend of mine's friend that worked at the college where I am applying. He is a good guy who likes photography like myself. He suggested I go see a fellow in the law department where I was applying. So I went to turn in my resume at the Human Resources department and that is were I made my mistake. I asked for directions. “You can not approach that department”, I was told. I was informed by not only the person I asked for directions but by her supervisor that I could be jeopardizing my job application if I tried to influence the hiring process. This is not what I had in mind but I agreed and apologized then left. I didn't go see that fellow at the Law department because of that interaction and the fact that it was noon and I probably wouldn't find him there anyway.

Today I am hoping will be more promising. I plan to go to the unemployment office and actually beg. I will accept any position now. McDonald's will be my ne career. Whatever. I still cant accept the fact that I am going to lose my car and my credit will be damaged forever. I am planning to default my student loans and that will cement my doom as far as credit goes. So much for owning land and a home here.

The weekend is in jeopardy as it is supposed to rain. I guess I will have more time to job hunt.

Today started off on a brighter note than yesterday, which took a nosedive the moment I received a message from GEICO about my car, casting a shadow over my job-hunting efforts until late evening. The burden of potential debt looms large, making me hesitant to use credit for bills, fearing it’ll deepen the financial pit created by my education—a path I now question, feeling it was driven by greed. This lesson has been costly, delaying my dreams of a log cabin, a family, and a cozy fireplace.

Despite the setbacks, I’m geared up and ready to dive back into the job search. However, finding software engineering opportunities in Missoula is like searching for water in a desert, especially with the shift of such jobs overseas. Today’s agenda includes a hopeful visit to the college to meet Ryan Alter and submit my resume for a “Computer Support Specialist” role.

The weekend promises a change of scenery and a chance for reflection. I’m drawn to McCloud, viewing it as a personal quest that might, hopefully, unveil a path to employment. I’m also considering exploring photography jobs. With optimism, I wish everyone Godspeed on their own journeys.

Yo yo yo, what's up. Just got back from McDonalds and now I sit in the Liquid Planets back computer area. Its nice but now that it is getting colder, 32 degrees this morning, they should shut off the fountains and maybe turn on the heat. I remember my old place of coffee indulgence. The Starbucks in Orange CT. It had a fireplace and was comfy this time of year. Yesterday was limited to a ride with a friend, short but nice, then the rest of the day was spent burning Stephen King Novels to my Mp3 player. The ”Dark Tower“ series is huge! I still am only half way through an as of right now the total disk space required is 5GB. Wow, time to learn to use the DVD recorder.

Today I am stopping by the college this morning and following the day up with the usual, laundry, grocery shopping, clean car, and clean house activities. Tonight is the ”Family and Friends Online“. I should be here at the Liquid for that. The big event is yet to happened this morning as I have to call Mountain Supply and cancel the appointment for an interview. I have sights set on the job at the college and this one would just not be my cup of tea.

This week I have to hope for a job even more than last. Yesterdays mountain bike ride proved that I will not be biking soon as the ol stead is so worn out the drive train is falling off the bike. The car needs attention and is way past due for an oil change. The head light is still unfixed. I am out of money and am struggling to just get the rent paid and have enough left over to eat and pay child support.

I just got back from the Treasure ride with my friend Corey. We did a shortened version that took about an hour. My drive train is so worn that I cant use the granny gear or the middle chain ring. I am bummed because I don't have the money. It was 37 degrees when we left my apartment so I was bundled up. That didn't last too long however because I had to use an extremely large gear to climb with I took off everything off at the top. Today I feel strong but a little overweight. I hope that isn't the case.

Good Sunday morning from the Liquid Planet as usual. I am here checking my emails and doing some coffee. I feel lazy today and wish my NHL 2002 had arrived by now. I will probably go on a decent length ride today and prepare up for next weeks job search and butt kissing expo.

Yesterday was great. The parade, the tail gating, and the game was so much fun. I got some pretty neat photos of the activities. Later on Larry and I meet his wife over at the iron Horse for some eats and treats. Damn good day but the only thing missing was a bike ride.

What am I going to do folks about that ceramic rim in the back of my mountain bike. It eats a set of brake pads at least once a week. I cant keep up financially. Talking about that I am reminded of my car and now a little down in the dumps. What can you do?

Well Cherio and I am hoping all I know have a good day.

Good morning from the Liquid Planet once again. This morning we are having the homecoming parade for the football team and then later my friend Larry has asked me if I want to go to the game. Normally I cant due to the fact that ticket prices are too high but his wife wont be able to make it and I could go in her place. I jumped at the opportunity. I cant wait. I am hoping to take some pictures so stay tuned.

Yesterday I had a “hiring conference” at Mountain Supply in which I was told about the company and what was expected in the job. I signed up for an interview on Monday but I am terrified that I will get hired. I don't want the job. I would sit in a room for 3/4 of the day and then the rest I would be required to work the cash register. No way. Well hopefully Ill find a job Monday morning and then I can call and cancel. I will call anyway. A friend of mine gave me some tips on getting a position at the college so Monday I will be doing that.

Tomorrow it looks like I may indeed try McCloud Peak in one day. Although I don't feel like it because of the jobless situation maybe I should force myself.

Here I sit at the Liquid Planet and my coffee has turned cold. I got here early and immediately got distracted in some PHP coding on my site. I, let’s say, fine tuned my calendar application. Now I went to post some info about tomorrows race.

That brings me to tomorrows plans. Supposedly there is a mountain bike duatalon tomorrow near Frenchtown and I am trying to find info about it. I am planning on doing it if the race fee is low and there is no race license required.

Otherwise I will spend the day with a friend Larry at homecoming activities. Tomorrow is homecoming for the Griz.

Today is interesting. I am going to read and study ”Computer Networks and Internets“ before noon. Then I have a conference planned at a business called Mountain Supply where I am hoping for employment.

I am still hoping to climb McCloud on Sunday unless I race hard on Saturday in which Ill spend the day researching technologies and playing NHL 2002, which is the best EA Sports have made.

It is 11 am and I am finally at the Liquid Planet. What is wrong with that picture? Well it is somewhat late. I plan to make job searching like a job.

At 7AM, I want to be here using the internet to check emails and look for work. Interviews and research can be mounted from here until 1PM. It is then that I take a break and go to the taco joint for dinner. Then I head to the Library to brush up and learn new technologies.

Right now, I am writing XML applications for practice.

This morning I got up at 6AM but after breakfast went right to bed again and slept until 10:30 AM. I hope I am not coming down with something. WWW.ell on the good side, maybe the rest will help me today. I am thinking more and more of starting my own business instead of working. Where do

This morning I realized that I have paid my last payment to V.W. that I can afford. If I don't score a job in two weeks it will be repossessed. It is not like I am sad, just mad that I paid so much for that thing. $600.00 a month to be exact. $400.00 for loan and $200.00 for insurance which was canceled last week. It is still baffling to me and my friends why a beetle costs so much to insure.

Well it seemed that is all over and I am excited to finally keep my money for things like food. I am thankful to live in Missoula where I can ride my bike every where. The job search is going ok with more opportunities than I expected. Just have to find the right place at the right time. I suspect it will take at least a year to find a good job. Unemployment is ending in a couple weeks so Ill be downgrading the ol lifestyle but that wont be hard. Today I hope to go mountain biking and job searching.

So far no luck this morning so I think mountain biking is what Ill do next.

Wow, I fall in love with Missoula more and more each day. It is nice to see so many people doing what they think is right and not what they are told. There was a march complete with drummers. I still have flashbacks to my racing days when I hear the rythmic beat. Sunday there were 3,000 people in attendance. "Yee-ha is not a foreign policy", "After the war Dick Cheney will have a job – will you?", and "Kerry Hero. Bush zero" were some of the signs thrashing about. Sounds like, "Join me brothers and sisters, hug your fellow liberals." established the fact that you were in Missoula and being hugged". Speakers included William Kittredge which is a Montana writer and others.

The message was basically that under Bush the rich get richer and thee poor get poorer. No one can make ends meat anymore and medical costs are rising. And my favorite message that public lands are turning into industrial landscapes and corporate America is taking over government.

I have heard about the Hill Climb up Pattee Canyon but when I had learned that it was going to be held on the up and coming weekend I realized that maybe I should have planned in advance. At least this one would be full of participants that were just doing it for fun. I thought to myself, “How bad could it be”?

I figured on Friday afternoon I would ride the course on my old Cannondale road bike. I took my watch. I didn’t go all out but thanks to the climb I was challenged. The course seems to just get steeper and steeper. Its not that it is so steep but so short. The record is 12:54 so I figured there would be no messing around saving any strength. I figured I would climb it in at least 15 minutes as I love to climb and I had been riding and hiking all summer long.

I got to the finish line in 17 minutes. Saturday I woke up thinking that maybe I needed to plan the route and get serious about cutting off a couple minutes. I rode the course again and believe me this course was getting longer every time I did it. A minute of suffering is worth a hour of riding hard.

I rode the course in around 16 something. Ok so I wasn’t going to set the record this year but now my concern was that I would be caught by the riders in Missoula that regularly climb the course in 14 and 15 minutes. I decided to go on a spin down the gravel road to Deer Creek Road (down the other side of the canyon) to East Missoula and then home.

I was thinking how hard the Paris Robeux must be as I screamed down the gravel road bumping down Deer Creek when my front tire blew out. Suddenly I had no control as I shifted my weight to the rear. Locking up the rear would careen me out of control and possibly toss me to the gravel at speed. So I road the rim squirming down the gravel until I slowed to a stop. I changed the tire and used a rock to grind the burrs off the rim so I wouldn’t rip off the break pads.

I went home and stayed off the bike until race day. Jeeze!

Sunday was cool but warming. I had my plan and rehearsed it in my head. I took off like an elephant trying to jump rope. It was awkward and then it wasn’t and I pumped to the first what I call flat spots. They are not flat but not as steep as the climb before. This hill climb is full of big efforts and then it lets off for a while before getting steeper once again.

My heart was jumping out of my chest and the cold air burned. I had a thought … What if I don’t recover before the next big effort? Darn I had gone out too hard, the next effort started and I was not recovering. I approached Larch Camp Road turn off and I knew that is where it got steeper. Just after the turn is the steepest part of the course. I sold the farm and geared down. What a disgrace I thought, me in my granny. The rest of the course was made up of true grit. I knew it would end and soon. If I could gear back up and keep steady it would end. Just had to set little goals. Next little riser, next corner. Suddenly there it was, the finish line. I stood to sprint … Yea, right!

I crossed the line at 15:51. I spun up the road to recover and thanked god it was over. Ok next year I will prepare and not go out so hard.

I have heard about the Hill Climb up Pattee Canyon but when I had learned that it was going to be held on the up and coming weekend I realized that maybe I should have planned in advance. At least this one would be full of participants that were just doing it for fun. I thought to myself, “How bad could it be”? I figured on Friday afternoon I would ride the course on my old Cannondale road bike. I took my watch.

I didn't go all out but thanks to the climb I was challenged. The course seems to just get steeper and steeper. Its not that it is so steep but so short. The record is 12:54 so I figured there would be no messing around saving any strength. I figured I would climb it in at least 15 minutes as I love to climb and I had been riding and hiking all summer long. I got to the finish line in 17 minutes.

Saturday I woke up thinking that maybe I needed to plan the route and get serious about cutting off a couple minutes. I rode the course again and believe me this course was getting longer every time I did it. A minute of suffering is worth a hour of riding hard. I rode the course in around 16 something.

Ok so I wasn't going to set the record this year but now my concern was that I would be caught by the riders in Missoula that regularly climb the course in 14 and 15 minutes. I decided to go on a spin down the gravel road to Deer Creek Road (down the other side of the canyon) to East Missoula and then home.

I was thinking how hard the Paris Robeux must be as I screamed down the gravel road bumping down Deer Creek when my front tire blew out. Suddenly I had no control as I shifted my weight to the rear. Locking up the rear would careen me out of control and possibly toss me to the gravel at speed. So I road the rim squirming down the gravel until I slowed to a stop. I changed the tire and used a rock to grind the burrs off the rim so I wouldn't rip off the break pads. I went home and stayed off the bike until race day. Jeeze!

Sunday was cool but warming. I had my plan and rehearsed it in my head. I took of like an elephant trying to jump rope. It was awkward and then it wasn't and I pumped to the first what I call flat spots. They are not flat but not as steep as the climb before. This hill climb is full of big efforts and then it lets off for a while before getting steeper once again.

My heart was jumping out of my chest and the cold air burned. I had a thought … What if I don't recover before the next big effort? Darn I had gone out too hard, the next effort started and I was not recovering. I approached Larch Camp Road turn off and I knew that is where it got steeper. Just after the turn is the steepest part of the course. I sold the farm and geared down.

What a disgrace I thought, me in my granny. The rest of the course was made up of true grit. I knew it would end and soon. If I could gear back up and keep steady it would end. Just had to set little goals. Next little riser, next corner. Suddenly there it was, the finish line. I stood to sprint … Yea, right!

I crossed the line at 15:51. I spun up the road to recover and thanked god it was over. Ok next year I will prepare and not go out so hard.

Last night I tried the hill climb route for Sundays race. I did it in 17 minutes and that is discouraging. The average Missoulain does it in 15 minutes and the record is some 12 minutes. I didn't think I was that slow. This is going to be a disgrace but maybe next year I will be stronger and with less body fat.

Today is Saturday and I will ride the course again today early afternoon and then ride down the other side to East Missoula and then home. Short and sweet … Rest up you know!

Next week I will attempt McCloud in one day instead of this weekend. It is good for me to spend a week end resting. Specially with the pressures of job searching.

Another development that is stressing me out is that my house mate upstairs is moving out. I am terrified that the new tenants will be partiers or heavy walkers (the worst kind of people in the world).

I am at the Liquid Planet right now and doing some job hunting and fine tuning of my resumes. I submitted two last night and one I am hoping for specifically at the University and a web person. Well the day is beautiful and the ram must not stay pent up too long.