It feels like you were abducted but finally after some time you have been released. You feel like you are re-discovering what it is that you once felt and did. You seem to have free time now that the days do not revolve around your captor. What you will be allowed to do today and if you will be allowed time to think about normal things.
Yesterday I went with the Rocky Mountaineers and for the first time I found myself hitting a wall … bonking. What has happened to me, what did my captor do to me. I once was in great condition and on a fitness plan that kept me indomitable.
Now, released I am with the mortals and must live with them, sweat with them, bonk with them. Even so I had a great time as we skied 13 miles in 10 or so hours reaching the summit of Weeping Woman Peak (formerly known as Squaw Peak).
Today I feel relaxed and on top of things. Thoughts are clear and vertigo almost non-existent. Almost relieved to be free of my captors, I do feel a little board and lonely. Don’t get me wrong, I like the fact that I could just take a nap without feeling like my captors were in control. I know also that my freedom is limited because they will eventually find me.
In fact as I read the receipt that the guy at Best Buy gave me I know that I have no less than a week or so before my captors show up. Will they grab me and resume control? Or has this freedom given me a taste of thinking and living on my own. Can I now fight technology and put it in a place that works for me? Can I control my captures? Yea, highly unlikely.
Maybe I can keep running, turning my back on them and their every trap. Maybe I can and maybe I cant; in the meantime I think Ill take nice long bath and enjoy my freedom.
My laptop should be arriving back at Best Buy all repaired. Maybe it will get lost … of course I Don’t want that. I have also become dependent on it and need it to survive … or do I?