Day: November 17, 2023

So it has been decided that we should stop for lunch before the big climb. I just bide my time until we are on “the climb.” It is there I will be at home. I wonder how hard it will be on my body?

This post has been edited to protect the privacy of friends, so I hope no one thinks I’m trying to freak them out by changing the story.

While reading a blog, a line catches my eye: “Mountain bikes are just wilderness wheelchairs.” Just days later, I find myself hiking with the author. I mention liking that line, and she giggles, explaining her view that running is fun but not necessarily kind for her and her self-described clumsiness (aren’t we all?). She needs some form of recreation to overcome her injuries.

My interpretation might be slightly off, as my mind soon drifts to cardamom ice cream. It’s good but not necessarily good for me. Running is fun but dangerous. Ice cream is tasty, yet nutritionally a disaster. Much like some of my past relationships.

The hike continues up to the Waterworks Hill ridgeline, and my thoughts shift to a book I recently read, “Emotional Alchemy,” by Tara Goleman. She narrates a story about Julian, a man who becomes infatuated with a woman who stops returning his calls. Initially, he was only mildly interested, but now he’s almost obsessed. This pattern, Goleman explains, is fueled by a ‘reparative fantasy’—a longing to be rescued by these emotionally unavailable women.

“In my crib, maybe two, crying out to my mother. She doesn’t ever answer. It’s as though this has gone on for forty years. It’s not just my past; that two-year-old is crying out now, crying so hard he’s afraid he won’t be able to breathe…”

That thought lodged itself in my mind as I sat reading the other night. It felt relevant, and now, hiking at night with a snowstorm rolling in, it surfaces again. My family subscribed to the old west nurturing technique: if a baby cries, just let it cry, thinking it needs to toughen up for life. Life is hard, they said. But isn’t this just bad parenting? How can you turn your back on someone that needs nurturing?

I stumble on a rock and almost twist my ankle. Hearing the shuffle, my friend glances back, “You ok?”

“Yeah.”

She’s emotionally available, caring, a good friend. I have good friends and continue to surround myself with good people—people who are good for me. The problem is my friends always want to stop by the Big Dipper for cardamom ice cream.

Good morning from the sun-kissed streets of Missoula, Montana! It’s one of those days where the sun beckons you outside, and I couldn’t resist.

Opting for the scenic South Hills route to work, I soaked in every moment. Now, I’m toying with the idea of swapping out my usual lunch routine for a midday ride. Who needs sandwiches when you have sunshine and open roads, right?

Just rolling out of my makeshift couch-bed. I’ve been lounging here in Missoula, battling some mysterious abdominal pain and intense sweats. I’m half-convinced I’ve got scurvy, or maybe I was nabbed by aliens for some extraterrestrial experiment.

Anyway, as I shuffle off to bed, I figured I’d keep my promise of a nightly blog post to channel my inner madness and let off some steam. So, here’s my midnight musing: Have you ever noticed when you see those heartbreaking fire ruins in California, it’s always trailer parks, not swanky mansions? Am I tuning into the wrong channel, or is my perception off? It makes me wonder if there’s a pecking order even in disaster, extending all the way to human life.

But hey, let’s flip to something positive. Big shoutout to Missoula for adding newbie-friendly trails to our local mountain biking scene. Kudos, Dave, for highlighting this fantastic addition to the Three Larch area.

Alright, back to my horizontal life pondering. How long should I wait before seeing a doctor? I’m aiming for a personal record here. Longer than anyone, because that’s a win in my book!

Here I sit with a cup-o-Joe in hand at the Break Espresso. I am over my dilemma finally after getting down to business with my things to do list for today. I run into this brainteaser every morning as I try to put cream in my coffee. It’s those karasks (what ever they call those insulated containers) that they use. You open one up to pour but it doesn’t pour so you turn the lid the other way. Nothing! Somehow though you manage to wiggle and jiggle it enough to finally get some cream out.

Heck you don’t even see it pour out; you just end up with creamer in your coffee. Not to mention the fact that you are always the one who empties the damn thing out. But with that mystery proposed let me say that I am finally back on track with a new set of skis. Last weekend you may recall that I broke my current set.

So now I am planning ski trips this weekend and a bike ride tonight with the Thursday Niters. Oh Starry Nights! Last night was a great ride as I went out to preview the course. The traction is as good as it gets with minimal snow on the trails. Surprisingly enough Marcy even found enough to complete the loop with me.

Yea, I thought she could get out and I could do our little loop that we are doing tonight. Instead we ended up doing the summer loop and now she sits home recovering. She is doing real well and the run seems to have her back to her old self and in shape.

I got up at my usual time of 6 a.m. and headed out for a McDonalds breakfast and then to Liquid Planet to begin the days job search.

In two separate places, McDonalds seemed to be not open, but open at a third. A little annoyed I headed downtown to Liquid Planet. They were not open as well. What is going on? Is it a national holiday today? So here, I sit at home. I would rather be at work right now, but as we all know I must get a job first. I just read an article about how Computer Science work outsourcing and an interview of a local company called ”First Call Computer Solutions“. Actually, it was on IT outsourcing but I feel like the Computer Sciences in general is going to countries like India. I have sent that company my resume and may stop in today. II would like to see how serious these companies are about keeping their hometown eligible workers, working! I am currently also hustling myself to Nelson Temp Agency who were recommended to me by a friend. They seem to specialize in IT worker placement. Let us hope

Back from my whirlwind ride in Massachusetts, I found myself utterly drained. Crashing into bed, I didn’t stir until the clock struck 9 PM. Now, as I sit sorting through my finances, I can’t help but feel a mix of astonishment and frustration.

You wouldn’t believe the audacity of some folks! My auto insurance bill soared sky-high, my student loan payments bumped up by a whopping 100 bucks, and, as if on cue, my electricity company decided to play hide and seek by locking me out of their website – again. To say I’m disgruntled tonight would be an understatement.

Looks like my workday tomorrow will be packed with a series of not-so-pleasant phone calls. There’s nothing like a good old-fashioned “discussion” with customer service reps to kickstart the day, right?

But for now, it’s time to hit the hay. Goodnight world. Toodal-le-looooou!