Yesterday I “Rounded up Sheep” and this morning I did the “Morning 70“. And I feel great. Which is surprising. Usually I am left with the munchies and the inability to get off a bed. The journey is never consistent is it? Like a game of Jenga. You build a foundation and then start taking from it to go higher … faster.

So I must be doing something right lately. I have taken out blocks left and right and my fitness and body are taking it in stride. But I do know that if I continue then the tower will fall.  So I am thinking about a rest block and taper before the Rapelje 24 Hour Race in two weeks.

“The trick to jenga”, I explain to my opponent, “Is to get aggressive. And pay attention to which blocks will eventually un-weight other blocks.” And then as I take out my next block … FAIL.

So while things are pretty solid I think I will taper off to see how well I built my tower in Rapelje.

Lately I am just zipping down the trail and reacting to whatever comes my way. I have no time to do the comfortable and planned things in life. Like blog, take photos, or watch movies. I would like to correlate life as of late to water sports. Water much like skiing requires so much faithful agility. You react to what comes your way and maneuver around trouble areas.

Blogging helps me think about what is going on and express it in a way that helps me understand from another point of view. And to other readers it is something else. When you are showing the world how you navigate the waters others will stop by and watch.

Some readers, I am sure, study my posts for tid-bits of information. Someone told me they read my blog for wisdom. I like information because I certainly don’t know how wise what I do is healthy.

Sometime you react in a way that is beautiful. Like the beauty of a fan of water spraying from the underside of your craft. So things are coming my way lately and I am reacting. I wish i had more time to write about it and to extract the beauty of it all. But maybe if I wrote it all out it will be at least something to someone.

I can’t tell if I am being a wuss, mentally unstable, or if my thoughts are proper.

Weird experiences tonight. I am realizing the magnitude of the possibility that if I don’t find friends or someone to share things with that I am just wasting life. Communication is so important not only to a relationship but for a human to cope. I can not tell if that is just my schema or dysfunctional thinking.

For those of you who are my friend, and that I find amazing, I just want you to know how much I value your companionship and advice. I really miss having someone to “grip” to to get over a job situation. I also really miss being able to share great moments, a bike ride, and cool daily observances. As I look out the window to a magnificent sunset I cant help but feel extremely sad to experience it alone.

So many times I strive to be out in a beautiful place on an adventure. Is this healthy? And how do I talk someone into going with me … I mean some of the things I want to do is so out of the ordinary in todays culture.

I feel bad that I have not been able to blog. Not for those of you who read my posts but for myself. Something happens when I blog. Something that added to the rest of my coping mechanisms just work.

I have been busy biking. Two weeks ago I rode 200 miles all the while working a full 40 hours at MSU. But last week things fell apart. I ride because I have vertigo. I ride because when I do the vertigo goes entirely away and the world is right again. Last week I finished a good ride down from the Gallatin and started to make dinner. As I looked into the cupboard I had this overwhelming desire to blow my cookies.  Then I got so dizzy I couldn’t stand up. I spent the next few days at a 45 degree angle in bed. I even went to see a doctor.

She said I had adrenal issues and infected air passageways including the ear. If I were not so worn out from biking and traveling and working I could defend against the infection. Now it was getting the best of me.  What a paradox. Bike to relieve the vertigo and in turn I wear out and it gets me even worse later on.  Let go of biking and maybe get better.

I’d rather bike. Bike pouting is my best form of cope. My best form of hope. Tonight I ride large … maybe.

I came around the corner and there was a black bear charging towards me. I quickly jumped off my bike and readied myself for battle.

No one knew I was out here 20 miles from Bozeman in the Gallatin Range. I was riding my bike alone. That is what I have done lately. I have become a loaner lately and prefer to ride my bike far from home then sit  alone with no one to talk to.

And now I was facing down a bear. I raised my bike over my shoulders but the beast did not even noticed. At the last moment I tried to alert the bear with my voice. “Up up up” I shouted. A phrase I usually yell at a bike racer going up a hill. But this is all that I could mutter at this time.

With that the bear reeled and headed off in the opposite direction. Relieved I placed my bike back on the trail. The big guy didn’t even see me and was running from a sound which was probably my brakes bouncing off the canyon walls. He was not attacking me at all. A total miscommunication.